I think I have taken the suggestion of "living in the moment" in the wrong direction. Ever since fall quarter started, I have been non-stop living in the moment. And by that, I mean I have to ignore everything else I need to do, to focus on just the task I'm currently trying to handle, without going insane.
Every Monday, I find out the things I need to accomplish that week, and every Saturday, I flop onto my bed and ignore the world. Currently, that is what I am doing. Does it matter that I have a midterm on Monday that I haven't studied at all for, homework due next Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday that I haven't even looked at? Does it matter that I have to grade 20 assignments before Monday, and then will spend the rest of my Monday grading midterms? Nope. It is personal-time-with-my-bed day. I can start all of that stuff late tonight and tomorrow.
Maybe if I were devoting my efforts towards school right now, it would mean that my average bedtime of 2:00 am could actually move more towards midnight, but I can't seem to make myself give up these precious hours. Sometimes, that seems weird to me since I never seem to accomplish anything during this time. I flock from internet site to internet site and dully immerse myself in pop-nerd-culture ramblings, when instead I could be applying myself to finding the best park near my house. Or actually picking up a musical instrument this quarter. Or any number of things. You think I should be more productive and feel like I'm contributing to my life? Yeah? Well, good luck trying to convine my subconscious, cause so do I.
Anyways, I just wanted to check in with you and mention my lack of anything interesting going on with my life. Just lots of school, prepping for exams, grading, and hunting for an internship for next summer. I think I'm going to try and get out of Seattle this time. As much as I love it, I think I need new scenery for a while.
Actually, that reminds me of something semi-interesting that has been preoccupying my brain cells lately. I think I'm going to try to work as an APM for Google. What's an APM you say? Well, that acronym stands for Associate Product Manager, and basically means "make all of the things work". Or at least, that seems to be what it means according to the people I have talked to. I've known for a while that I want to try interning as a Product/Program Manager for a while. Those are the people who make the connections between the engineers and the testers and the lawyers and the users and the bosses all make sense. So some company would hand me a project (as an intern!) and say... okay, we need it to look like this in three months. Make it happen.
Part of me is terrified by that idea, but part of me is completely intrigued. I talked to one of the TAs this quarter who did the APM program at Google last summer, and what she had to say convinced me that this is something I need to attempt. Even though Google only hires about 20-25 APM interns every year, and last year only 2 of those were from public schools, and even though I feel completely inadequate in my technical abilities as of yet, I kind of want to apply and see just how far down the interviewing process I get. The interview process alone is pretty scary. They ask the kinds of questions like "how many lightbulbs does America use every year?" and "if you could make any product ever, what would it be? how would you break that down? where would you get funding? how would you advertise?" and other such open ended questions. This kind of thought process seems exciting to me, but I don't know if I have the passion yet to really land this kind of job. I do intend to dip my toe in the water and see what is out there though. And who knows? The very worst that could happen is that I don't get it.
So, now you're semi-caught up with my stream of consciousness. I hope you are doing well, and that you enjoy your visit to Ithaca. I can't wait for December to roll around and for our baking/movie-viewing/random adventure hangouts. I can hardly believe this quarter is half over as is.
Love you,
Ry
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